suffering in silence...?

Tomorrow is Passion Sunday (in the Anglican Church - it's next week in the Roman Catholic Church, but that's a whole other story!).

Passio is the Latin for suffering. Of course the suffering of Jesus on the cross, his passion. But it gives us time to be honest about our own.

My sermon tries to encourage us to do that. I nicked some of the words from John Bell - they were too good not to share. Some of it is mine. Some of it may be helpful.

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord.

Lord, hear my voice!

Let your ears be attentive

to the voice of my supplications!



When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus began to weep.




God does not guarantee a painless life.

The bones of dinosaurs
who walked the earth millions of years before men and women,
show evidence of cancer.

There have always been fault lines in creation.

The issue is not how to escape hurt,
but how to handle it.


We are often surrounded by stories of pain
and unwarranted suffering,
and the apparent disinterested randomness of natural disaster.

And you wonder ... you wonder ...
what kind of world is it ...
and what kind of God is it
who allows one person to live into old age,
and another young person in their prime,
with their life just beginning to bear fruit,
to be cut down.

Phrases like `only the good die young' are no comfort.
There's an injustice in it all.

Why does God let one person live into old age,
and complete their life's work-
yet cut others off in their prime?

But more,
why should those who never give a tinker's curse
about the establishment of justice and human wholeness be spared,
and those who are committed to these things
be separated in death from all that they could have done
and all they were doing?


One of the very discomforting things
that we have to cope with is that whatever else it is,
the way of Jesus is not an inoculation
against road accidents,
cancers,
persecution
suffering
and death.

Much though we might like it to be so,
much as we hope fervent­ly it might be,
when we say our prayers for our safety
and the safety of our loved ones,
we seem to get even treatment
with those who never utter a prayer
when it comes to accident and illness.

Though truth to tell,
from our Bibles we see that is not a new insight.

The Bible has scarcely begun when Cain kills Abel ...
a man in whom God was well pleased;
Samson, for no evil in him,
gets his eyes gouged out and dies in his prime;
David loses an infant child
and then his son Absalom;
and Stephen,
hardly a year into his discipleship,
is hideously stoned to death.

It would seem that no-one is favoured
when it comes to death and danger.
There is no insurance policy,
no ethereal safety-net
preventing the faithful from falling off a cliff
or falling under the wheels of a car.

So how are we to respond? ... when disaster strikes.

Have we just to grin and bear it,

say it's a hard life?

I want to suggest not the answer,
or even a clue to the answer,
of the mystery of hideous suffering
or untimely death.
But I do believe that there are ways
in which followers of Jesus should respond.

We should respond with honesty,
deep honesty.
If someone we love dies suddenly,
is killed,
is diagnosed as having a fatal illness,
and we feel aggrieved at this,
angry about it,
then the last thing we should do is put on a mask of false piety.
We should be angry!
We should complain to God!
We should ask why!
And we should not be afraid to do that.

For God is not some fragile doll
who will fall off the perch if our voice or our temper rises,
if we dare to tell the truth.
And no one,
no one in the Bible
was ever told off by God
for being justifiably angry, or confused or hurt.

If that were the case,
Jeremiah would have been struck down
a hundred times for arguing with God.

If it were the case that God didn't like complaints,
a third of the Psalms would never have been written.

If Jesus had no time for people complaining,
then when Mary came to see him and said,
`Lord, if you had been there, my brother would not have died!',
Jesus would have told her
to shut up and get on with her life.

But no, what does he do? ...
He listens to Mary's anguish, anger, sorrow,
he sees her tears
and then he cries himself.



God enters into grief
when we share that grief with him.
To refuse to grieve,
to suppress anger,
to avoid shouting at heaven
the things we mumble on earth,
is to keep God out.

We know those we love
not when they pretend to be fine
but when they are honest about their pain.
Only then is relationship real.

When bad things happen to good people,
when the innocent lose their lives,
we express our outrage,
when we suffer,
we show our true feelings ...
to let God in.



As Jesus walks the way of the cross,
from palm-led procession to demanded death-sentence,
we see that suffering is universal,
even for the innocent,
and as we try to share those sufferings,
we are invited to be honest about our own.




Let us pray.


What did they think, Lord,
those who watched you cry in front of women,
in front of men,
for your dead friend?

Did they admire your tenderness having seen your toughness?
Were they disgusted by your tears and loss of self control?
Or were they drawn into your sorrowfor the plight of the worldand the pain of its people?

For, Christ,
you wept
when grief was raw.

Just for Marcos....

¡Hola!

Percy points the way

I love Percy Dearmer - he is one of my absolute heroes.

Recently, I'm geekish enough to be rereading his "The story of the Prayer Book" and a sentence in a chapter on the first English prayer book really shone out. It's represents the vision of Anglicanism that I wholeheartedly say Amen to! He may be writing about 16th century liturgy and how it reflects the "English Character" (I wish!), but it's true for how the whole Church should be....

[The First Prayer Book] is indeed throughout an exemplar of what we proudly claim as one of the best elements in the English character: alike in ritual, that is, in the wording of services, and in ceremonial, it endeavours to avoid the extremes of bigots and fanatics, seeking to establish what is true and right without regard to prejudices, reactions, and the cruel generalizations so characteristic of religious controversy.


If ever we needed this man back, it's now!

Welcome!

Cheers to Mario for sending me this one! (And it's so way past time he blogged!)

And where have you been....?

Having disappeared into the ether way before Christmas - finally I return!

Most of the past few months of my life have been taken up turning things like this.....

...into this....

But more of that later.

Last night was Ash Wednesday and Mass was fab. I'm not really a Lent type person, it's all a bit somber for me - give me Advent and Christmas, with all their English traditions, beautiful ancient music and candles burning in the dark any time - but last night I was really hit by a sense of wanting to get back to simply following Jesus, which is what Lent is all about I guess. It's so special putting ash on peoples' foreheads as they come forward in church - the sense of shared humanity not just through the words but through the very act of touching them is holy. Before the Tories (spits) debased the term, it really is about getting back to basics.

Sadly the congregation had to listen to me preach - and don't think you can get away with it, here is what I offered.....

ASH WEDNESDAY SERMON

Here we are

the echoes of police car sirens
and of the trundling of escalators;
the call of door bells
and of the ringing of mobile phones;
the demands of alarm clocks
and of the spring in the toaster;

Here we are

the foot falls that surround us,
the cries of children,
and the Big Issue seller pricking our conscience;
the worrying rattle in the car,
the squeak of a familiar step,
and gurgling of the washing machine.

Here we are

the theme tune to Hollyoaks,
the call of seagulls,
and reminder that the shop is closing;
the crash of waves,
the brakes of the bus,
and the thud of the morning post.

Here we are.

And in this noisy place,
surrounded by the echoes of our daily lives,
the desert may seem a beautiful place to be.
A retreat where the starlight is not drowned out,
where silence brings peace,
and where the starkness denies complexity.

And tonight
it may seem a relief
that the Church calls us to go into the desert,
to leave behind our business and noise,
and to celebrate the starlight,
and the stark silence.

To find a place to which we can escape.


But the Lenten desert
offers us no such easy place.

It is not easy
because we do not go there alone.

Of course the God of the burning bush
goes before us into the desert.
The God who is always surprising us,
who will challenge us to see God
not as we have made God,
but as a dancing flame,
unpredictable,
unexpected,
challenging,
changing our preconceptions.

We will be challenged to listen to the call of our God,
not as we hope it will be,
nor as we make it,
but as challenging and unexpected as it was to Moses.
And if we meet a God who does not surprise us
it is not the God of Moses that we have found.


Of course
we are called to meet with God in the desert.

But it is not only God whom we will meet.

Tonight sisters and brothers,
you are called to journey into the desert
to meet yourself.

You are challenged to meet yourself as you truly are.
With all your temptations and demons.

In the desert there is no noise
to drown out your demons
or silence your lusts.
There is no audience to play to
or other folk at whom to point
in order to detract attention from yourself.

In the desert
you will be stripped of the allure of your prejudices,
your lust for power,
the desire to judge others,
and the longing for personal gain;
because none of these things bring life.

And there is the key to our call to the Lenten desert.

God does not call us into the desert
to point out our sin,
or to humiliate us,
or to threaten us,
or to make us grovel.
No.
God calls us into the desert
that we may see more clearly
the things that deny our God-given potential,
that strangle our ability to love,
that make us less than we can be.
Our prejudices,
our fears,
our power-seeking,
can be stripped away in the desert,
so that we may live abundantly.


Remember the words echoing in Jesus’ ears
as he responded to the desert call:
“this is my son,
the beloved,
with whom I am well pleased.”

We enter the Lenten desert,
not aware of a God who is repulsed by us,
but of a God of absolute love,
who is love.
And who sees our potential to love.

And when, very soon,
we are invited to receive ashes,
and to be reminded of our humanity,
it is knowing that we are made in God’s image,
and that God longs to restore us,
lovingly,
making us whole.


Jesus returned from the desert,
having faced the things
that could have stopped his potential,
and having turned from them,
began his ministry of outrageous love.

We are called to do the same tonight.
Knowing our dust-from-dust,
God-created,
God-loved humanity,
we are called to enter the desert.
The place where we can face
our prejudices,
our longing for power over others,
and our desire to judge;
and turn from them.
So that we may leave the desert more loving,
more ourselves.

And all this is for one thing,
that you may discover more and more how to love.
To love your self,
(the one whom you find in the desert,)
to love your neighbour as yourself,
and to love the God who met you there.

Clap your hands!

I preached at High Mass on Advent Sunday. For me it's the second highlight of the church year (the first is the first Mass of Christmas!), but it was special for me in more ways than just the date this year.

Part way through my sermon, as i spoke against the fear-mongers in the anti-gay brigade, my somewhat elderly, English, mainly straight congregation spontanaeously clapped!!!
They even cheered!!! In the middle of a high anglican mass!!!! It was awesome. I LOVE THEM! Just when you think the Kingdom will never come you find it's right here among us......and there's nothing *they* can do about it.

Some have asked to read the sermon - which is sweet, especially as you were gonna get it anyway! ;-) I've marked in bold the point where my congregation cheered and applauded.

Deo Gratias!


As Chicken-licken was going one day to the wood, whack! An acorn fell from a tree on to his head."Gracious goodness me!" said Chicken-licken, "the sky must have fallen; I must go and tell the King."So Chicken-licken turned back, and met Henny-penny."Well, Henny-penny, where are you going?" said he."I'm going to the wood," said she."Oh, Henny-penny, don't go!" said he, "for as I was going the sky fell on to my head, and I'm going to tell the King."So Henny-penny turned back with Chicken-licken, and met Turkey-lurkey. "I'm going to the wood," said he.Then Henny-penny said: "Oh, Turkey-lurkey, don't go, for I was going, and I met Chicken-licken, and Chicken-licken had been at the wood, and the sky had fallen on to his head, and we are going to tell the King."So Turkey-lurkey turned back, and they met Ducky-lucky….

And the story continues,
as we all know,
with Goose-loosey, and Drakey-lakeyand all the gang.

Of course, chicken licken had a point.
After all, he had the evidence.
The sky was falling,
and Goosey Loosey and Henny Penny and friends
joined the panicand ran……

Chicken Licken is a story about scaremongers,
folk who don’t dare to question their assumptions,
and who drum up panic.

“The sky is falling!”

And it’s a story about people who allow these scaremongersto make decisions for them.
People who don’t ask questions about what they’re being told.
No-one even asks Chicken Licken
what evidence he has that it was the sky
they manage to hide the ridiculous nature of his tale
because they accept the call to panic and run…

“The sky is falling!”

The Church has its share of Chicken Lickens,
those doomsday geniuses,
who are sure we face the end of the world,
and who state that what they claim is obviousand expect the rest of us to panic and run.

And often we do.

They notice that global tension is rising,
that disease is spreading,
they even notice tornados.

The sky is falling they tell us,
and fill the falling sky with their own assumptions and fears.

But they never dare to question what they think is obvious.
They never dare to ask if what they say is actually true.

One of these doomsday characters in the United States
is Pat Robertson,
who has the ear of President George Bush Junior.

This man warned the city of Orlando Florida
that if it continued to fill its streets with gay pride flags
it would be struck by a tornado.

This was based on the obvious truth
that God had punished New Orleans for its gay pride march
with horrendous flooding and tornado.

See – the sky is falling down!

But one woman dared to question Robertson’s assumption.
She questioned his obvious evidence.

Janis Walworth investigated the claims
of this Chicken Licken.
She studied the correlation between the occurrence of tornadoes
and the gay population in those places.
She found that higher proportions of gay people lived in areas
with very few tornadoes.

So she went on to ask the question,
where do the tornados occur?

Walworth discovered
that the most tornados actually occurred
in areas with the highest population
of fundamentalist Christians!
Like Pat Robertson and his ilk!

So she cheekily pointed out
that maybe God was angry with them!

But such facts rarely stop the Chicken Lickens
or those who run with them.
They don’t stop to ask questions.

They ignore the words of Jesus that
“you do not know on what day your Lord is coming”.
They sidestep Jesus showing us
that the coming of God’s reign
is not a threat to frighten us into faith,
but an inspiration to liberate us to live faith.

But often they will quote some words from Jesus,
just to give their unquestioned claims
a touch of divine authority,
just in case you were thinking of daring to question them.

Words like:‘There will be …distress among nations confused by the roaring of the sea and the waves. People will faint from fear and foreboding of what is coming upon the world…. Then they will see “the Son of Man coming in a cloud” with power and great glory. Now when these things begin to take place, stand up and raise your heads.’

The Chicken Lickens act as if these words prove their point.
And when combined with their prejudice and assumptions…
and money
and books
and TV programmes
and magazines
and newspaper editorials
they make a frightening cocktail.

“The sky is falling down!”

But when Jesus tells us about the coming reign of God,
he did not drum up panic,
or mindlessly shout “The sky is falling down!”,
Jesus wanted his followers
to greet the world
not with panic and confusion and chaos,
but with confidence that God
was working out God's purposes for peace, joy, and justice.
Jesus is saying,
when it looks like the sky is falling down,
or others claim that it is,
don’t panic,
don’t run around shouting,
don’t get others to join your crusade of fear and hate,
insteadremember God is a God of justice and joy,of wholeness and hope,
and keep on loving and living lives of peace,
because God’s rule is bigger and beyond all this chaos.

The followers of Jesussee the bigger picture.
They look to the skywhen others are shouting that it is falling down,
and they instead focus on
the power and glory and hope of God.

Which way are we looking?

At the chaos in panic?
Or at the glory of our God of justice and hope
and the promise of God’s reign?

Which voices are we listening to?

The ones which say how bad the world is,
which claim to have all the answers,
and know whom to blame,
and shout that the sky is falling down?
Or the voice of Jesus,which calls us to stand up and raise our heads?

Are we listening to
the voices which call us to panic and point fingers,
or the one which calls us to live lives of radical love and peace?

Remember what happens to Chicken Licken
and those who follow him without question…

So Turkey-lurkey turned back and walked with Goosey-loosey, Drakey-lakey, Duckey-lucky, Henny-penny and Chicken-licken. And as they were going along, they met Foxy-loxy. And Foxy-loxy said: "Where are you going?"And they said: "Chicken-licken went to the wood, and the sky fell on to his head, and we are going to tell the King."And Foxy-loxy said: "Come along with me, and I will show you the way."But Foxy-loxy took them into the fox's hole and he and his young ones soon ate up poor Chicken-licken, Henny-penny, Duckey-lucky, Drakey-lakey, Goosey-loosey, and Turkey-lurkey.........................and they never saw the King.

Unexpected peace

I've said before that my favourite word is serendipity - and I had some again recently!

The Hebrew word for "Peace" or "Wholeness" is "Shalom" - which in printed Hebrew looks like this: שלום

But when modern Israelis (or anyone!) write Hebrew by hand they don't use the same form of the characters, there's a modern "cursive" version of the alphabet, and when using that the word looks like this:

You can then imagine my joy when I saw this on the hoarding around a building site near Asda's.......

Wholeness and peace among the realities of life - aint that what we all want?

PS: I do wonder who was expected to be able to read this graffitti! Maybe it was for me.....

We all matter

Long time no see.

The BF and I are now houseowners and spend most of our non-working life painting, building, ripping down, etc etc etc - we're almost straight!

Anyway - as a break from such macho activities - a bunch of us hit the scene last night. A new mate came along with us. He's only recently come out, and we have the priviledge of being the first mates he's made who are gay and out.

We had a fab time - and it was great to be told by a mutual friend about how relaxed and peaceful and at ease with himself our new mate is these days....since he came out and has met gay guys who do the ironing and drink beer and pay mortgages etc, and can be himself with all his friends.

It reminded me about how important we all are to each other, and how we continue to be so. It reminded me of how when I came out to my mum and dad, my dad's first words were "That sounds like a cue for a hug". How when I told my brother over a beer his first word was "Cool!"!! How Su and I would judge men according to cake flavour as we walked round Tesco's (mmmm - yummy chocolate cake!. How Mark took me by surprise! How mates stand by us and keep us all going (gay or straight). How straight folk in the Church are daring to stand by us gay folk in the Church (Cheers all at OCICBW!).

We all matter to each other.

I remember my dad worrying that he was somehow responsible for me being gay - not cos he thought it was wrong but cos he might have been able to avoid risking me being subject to homophobia. I reminded him that what he did make me was strong and loved enough to be able to cope with homophobia etc.....

We all matter to each other. we're meant to be that way.

So for all you folk a little song:




And for the guys I drank beer with and danced like a madman last night: